There is a voice in our heads that never seems to shut up. It’s probably quiet when we are asleep, though no one knows for sure. But during our waking hours, it just wants to keep talking.
The thought that just popped into your head – “What is this guy talking about! What voice in my head?” – yes, that voice which just asked this question is what I’m talking about. From matters related to home or work, this voice has an opinion on everything, and it very much wants you to associate with it, listen to it, and act on it. Its job is to keep you busy going from one problem to the next.
Imagine you have a date and the person is late by an hour. The voice in your head sees the opportunity and starts to chatter: “He/She doesn’t care for me anymore. Must be at work, and this is the third time they’re late. Are they really right for me? What if they have lost interest?” And on and on.
Then suddenly your date shows up with a surprise present because it’s your anniversary, which you apparently forgot. They apologize for being late because the customization took longer. The voice in your head now goes, “I am the luckiest person in the world. What a choice!” Flippant in seconds!
This is a small example. If you observe carefully, this chatter continues all day long, and most of us end up believing that we are this “voice in our head.”
The very fact that you can hear this voice separate from yourself means that this voice is definitely not you. It is potentially a sum of all the experiences you have gone through since childhood that have left an impression – an imprint in your subconscious. Probably. I don’t know.
What I know based on personal observations is that if you watch this voice objectively from a distance for long enough, it starts to quiet down. Let it speak, say what it has to say, but don’t act or react based on what it tells you to do.
It’s 2 AM, and you just woke up from your sleep. You went to the toilet, and then the voice sneaks up on you: “Check the phone. Maybe there’s an important email or WhatsApp message you shouldn’t miss.” Hear the voice but don’t act. As you build this habit of listening but not associating or reacting, the voice quiets down considerably.
The question is: how does one act if not by listening to the neurotic voice in your head? The voice is our mental model for the world. If we don’t have this mental model how do we function in the world?
My suggestion is to act based on a set of values you have defined for yourself. For example, no phone after 7 PM means no phone, no matter what the voice tells you. Waking up at the hour you have decided and going for that run is what you do, irrespective of what excuses the voice is giving you to keep sleeping. You have created your own set of principles and live by these principles, not based on the commands of the voice which keeps changing sides. This is a lifelong battle, and while we will win some of the wars, we will lose many.
The first step is to recognize that this battle is worth fighting for our inner growth. Changing your inner world changes your perspective of the outer world. On the days you are able to let go of the chatter and act based on principles, you feel a flow; peace and calm overtake you. And that serene feeling is worth pursuing each day of our lives.
